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Review: The Scarlet Pimpernel

The Scarlet Pimpernel - Emmuska Orczy

Here's my new and improved title for this book...
The Scarlet Pimpernel: A Classic That Doesn't Suck Sweaty Balls. 

I can't usually make it through classic literature. 
Does this make me a bad person? 
I think not.
There are manymanymany other things I do on a daily basis that make me a bad person, but not being able to force myself to read (in my opinion) outdated and overrated books is not one of them.

There are readers out there like me, I'm sure of it! And it's you guys that I'm talking to now.
Rejoice, fellow slackers! There is a classic that you can actually read!
Imagine it...
You're sitting on a bench engrossed in a book. The person next to you leans over and asks, "What are you reading?". You can finally plaster a smug-ass smile on your face and say, "Why, right now I'm thoroughly enjoying Orczy's classic The Scarlet Pimpernel.".
See?! Doesn't that sound awesome!
And when someone asks you what you've recently read, you won't have to admit to the fact that you're deeply into a series about an alien who falls in love with his human neighbor, your extensive comic book collection, or all of that erotica that's hidden neatly away on your Kindle!

Now is this book really a four star novel by my 'real-book' standards? 
Fuck, no! 
It's old as shit. The copy I got didn't even have anything on the cover. 
You know it's old when it's got that black cover-thing going on. 
The pages were creaky, it smelled weird, and I think there's a possibility I should have had it tested for mold before I brought it into my house. 
It's a readable book.
Go get it, and for a few blissful moments you can pretend that you're an intellectual giant.